To all the other parents that are out there struggling with OCD…
I wish I could give you an answer to make it all better. I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug that will make the pain a little less. I wish I could pick up the phone and tell you all the things you need to hear and it would help…I wish all this because I wish someone could do this for me. Through all the support, all the hugs, all the phone calls there is no answer that will make this suddenly go away but until the time comes where you learn to overcome this by applying all the tools you are learning I hope this at the very least offers some comfort and hope.
To all the other parents who feel like they are failing their children, who can’t be the parent they were or want to be, who can’t be around their children or who have broken down while their children see them cry, or they step out of the room not able to console themselves or not even able to get out of bed. To all the parents who have felt so isolated, guilty, afraid, doubtful and have questioned living. To all the parents that feel this illness has scratched away at their souls and everything that made them who they are. To all the parents that have felt numb, unable to love or feel happiness, like they are just watching their life float by, or so overwhelmed they’ve loved so much they can barely breath. To all the parents that have been stopped in their tracks unable to move at all. You inspire me and I want you to know these facts that although OCD will tell you are false, they are true.
You are strong. A warrior. A fighter. A protector. You don’t know how strong you are because this illness makes you feel so weak. Everyday you open your eyes and take a breath you are stronger than you realise. You are loved. You are valued. You have an important place in this life. This illness will tell you otherwise, that you are a phoney, that you don’t deserve love or joy. OCD is lying to you. You deserve love, and all that is good. You do great things. You carry on through this darkness. You are kind. Caring. Compassionate. You are a good person. You are a good parent. An amazing parent. This illness will get its claws into your deepest fears and because you are a good person it will terrify you and make you doubt everything. You are brave. So brave. You stare in the face of pure torment every day and you keep breathing.
You are the Phoenix rising out of the ashes. You are the lotus flower blooming in muddy waters, you are the rainbow when it’s raining, you are the sunrise after the longest night, you are a survivor.
You inspire me. Each and everyone of you. You give me courage, you give me more ways to punch back at OCD, you give me understanding and support. Every time you reach out for help, with questions, with advice or even just breathe you are taking bigger steps than you realise.
You’ve got this. I promise you, YOU can beat this. Every thought, fear, feeling you have, whatever the theme OCD has picked on for you, however ugly you think it is, there are others out there right now, experiencing the exact same. Right now.
Let’s be each other’s light when we struggle to light our own paths. Let’s walk together and when someone drops their torch we can hold their hand and they can share our light until they find theirs again. Let’s be united through this illness and kick it in the face together, and on the days we trip and lose our balance, let’s hold each other steady until we find our feet again.
We are in this together ❤️