Something I’m learning is to use the word ‘yet’. My counsellor always gets me to do this.
When I say, ‘I don’t feel better’ or ‘I can’t do that’, she’ll get me to say, ‘yet’ and I can see why. It took me a while but I can see the benefits.
By adding that one word it’s drumming it into me that I will do everything I was able to do before this spike and I will make steps.
‘I don’t feel better yet’
‘I can’t cope without my husband yet’
‘I can’t be in busy public places yet’
(Just a few examples)
When I began counselling mid January after the spike I said things like, ‘I can’t hold my children’, I can’t say words beginning with P, I can’t be around my children, I can’t get through a day without crying, I can’t get through a day without muscle relaxants, I can’t see my friends, I can’t get through the day without full blown panic attacks, I can’t watch any tv’ and so on.
But you know what? I have done all those things. Yes I still get anxious and I’m still training my brain and it’s still a battle and I’ve still got a lot of things I haven’t done yet. Even early on in sessions she would ask me to say ‘yet’ and she was right. Even when I thought I couldn’t do all these things, I now know it was just I couldn’t do them at the time. I’ve learned that I can do all the things I use to but it will just take time. A lot of time yes and maybe there will always be things that feel challenging but I will do them just not yet.
Adding that one word reminds me to be hopeful and reminds me of all the things I’ve already achieved that I didn’t think I could when I began recovery.
Keeping this short and sweet. I hope it’s helpful.