So yesterday I shared the darkest part of my OCD. The part that has ruined my life and I’m currently working very hard on rebuilding.
Within a short while of sharing my story, the responses began coming in and wow!! They involved words of amazing compassion and support and two words that made every ounce of anxiety worth it, ‘me too’.
Wonderful courageous people were replying and reaching out saying they suffered the same theme as me as well. I struggle to describe how much that comforts me and how thankful I am to hear responses of such brave stories from others.
This theme also known as PCOD (which still makes me a bit uncomfortable reading when I see it) is common! It’s so so common, like seriously, right now as you read this there are others with the exact thoughts you are having, ‘What if it’s not OCD? what if I want to? What if I’m a monster? Do I even know who I am anymore?’ And the list is endless, there are many many others feeling and thinking exactly how you are. Exactly the same.
In the claws of OCD it can feel like you are drowning, like you can’t lift the thoughts or feelings, and like you have this big secret eating away at you because if you talk about it OCD tells you ‘you’re admitting something and will be judged, maybe you’ll lose your children if you say it out loud, you could lose all your friends or your job, whatever it is you hold dear, and it will make it true if you talk about it’ and if you suffer in silence OCD tells you ‘you’re hiding something, others should know because you’re a potential threat, stay quiet’… OCD will do what it can to tell you, you are trapped and this won’t stop or ever get better.
I wanted to open a dialogue on this theme of OCD and show it for what it is…it’s an unpleasant theme that OCD picks on because it’s an easy target. OCD is a chemical imbalance. An imbalance that fills us with fear and dread. An imbalance that can be treated. I promise I’m here for you, if you need to reach out and talk, I can offer a listening ear, I get how scary it is, I get how the thought of even thinking about saying it can pause you in your tracks. There’s nothing about OCD that I could hear that will make me think less of someone. I completely get it. It’s disturbing, and ugly and uncomfortable. If talking about it is something you want to do then please reach out and if the times not right then that’s okay to. There’s no right or wrong.
I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who responded yesterday and continues to respond for your bravery in sharing your stories to.
I am just so taken aback by the compassion I’ve been met with and hearing those precious two words in this debilitating illness, ‘me too’.
Featured photo: I took this photo today on a short walk to an incredible forest. It’s been nearly two weeks since I went out for a walk (I’ve got a broken ankle at the moment) and I’ve had a rough couple of days with OCD being extra bad and the responses to my story gave me the motivation to get out today, sit in a forest and just breath so thank you!